In the heat of the moment we loose ourselves, and all sanity with it. It is a chorus from the self crying out to raise, to fight with daggers to claw at the enemy, and annihilate the threat. It is real when we loose someone we love and someone we care about. Loss is not something I often talk about, but it happens to all of us. The loss of a friend, a lover or a companion. People say you will heal, but it's as though a paper shredder has been taken to your heart, and you dare not sacrifice the memory. I don't know when it started to hurt the way it did, like acid burning through your veins, tasting bitterness on your tongue, feeling vampires float around you, draining your life source. I missed my best friend, it was almost like a dying and a reincarnation of the self. When you find yourself so close to where you want to be, so near to someone who truly understands you. The thing I remember most was her laugh it was like summertime and the click of shades over her pert features.
You are allowed to feel that void, that craziness that comes with looking someone or something, it is like a mania and a storm inside, swallowing you up in thunder, and shocking you with electric light. We miss the ghost of conversations passed, and the ringing of the phone hearing raspy voices tickle through the chords and echo into our eardrums. If your experiencing an absence of self, things, remember that you are permitted to have this cycle of feelings, and like the seasons they will pass.