I am here: short verse



Judgement is easy to do when you don't understand, don't get the intricacies of someone else's chaos. The mind is a web, mine was stonewalling me, thoughts that crept, angry spiders, lions weeping in the shadow, a missing trainer, the beep of a horn, I was looking myself in this infinite spiral of unwanted thoughts. You devastate me, I remember seeing your body stretched out as though you slept peacefully, then saw the pills like a polka dot spread lined up neat uninvited soldiers, tidy in comparison to the vomit. We're you sick, did you sleep was this an enchanted nightmare. That was that day, but today, you sit staring into the distance, alone and distant a ghost in the park. " talk to me," I croan about this foreign procedure called a depression, as a soul ostracizes itself from realities tricking needle. I howl at you, weep loudly, we are both sucked into this sinkhole. My eyes watch no longer animated, they slink off into corners, I plant a Palm on your shoulder. I will fight for you even though you can't see me. I will fill your head of two hundred thousand states,  where we could be so many versions of our Palestinian selves. I will hold your hand when you have no fingers, once upon a time, your dreams were mine. I burped them out like neat balls of oxygen, tainted with the stench of life. Now we have nothing but your dreams to fight for, and one day before an orange sun, we will dance majestically, fear an afterthought like stale tobacco in our mouths, we will laugh, the shrill sound of our voices will ring, and bite the sadness from the sandwiches of others. These different layers of life, molesting the joy out of such humble pieces of clay. Let me remind you, I am here. "This jungle your mind has escaped to," I say softly to my mother as though tiptoeing on the keyboard," I've taken the key and locked you out."

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