High jumping Heartbreak: Getting over a broken heart
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I realize something that i've always known logically, but emotionally never connected. Heartbreak happens, it hurts ,it throbs, it's poison to our fragile pulsing heart. We consistently yearn for the lost ones. How do you get over a broken heart, someone not being all you wanted them to be, you not being a version you wanted to be. Have you stooped screaming at the walls yet, tugging at your hair, chomping your nails, and scrubbing the last push of Ice cream. I'll tell you something that may make you feel just a little bit better, it happens to the glamour models, the supermodels, Royalty, Millionaires, heartbreak is never discreet.
It is loud and angry, at times it is bashful, acidic poison on the tongue. So with your pen stroke it, pet it like it's a purring kitten, sing it to sleep like its a baby in need of a Lullaby and admit to yourself, that your only human.
In life the hardest thing to do is to loose people. The second hardest thing to do is to say Goodbye, the third is to admit you may need to share this pain with someone, and the fourth is to admit maybe you had your part to play, and time heals wounds, but some still leave scars. Today it pissed with rain when i expected sun as i took the steps i counted towards my best friends house, we had fallen out years ago, and i screamed the poison that popped klike pandora out of a whirlwind of pain. It was the dream i had about her the night before where her voice was so familiar, and in that dream i had never said goodbye, i had never let her go. I chased her down sputtering with nervous anxiety, "i thought i lost you. I miss you so much it hurts sometimes." And quietly i said to myself i missed you so much, it throbbed, and the curse of the words i used spat at me, as in the mirror i saw your reflection. As i took the careful steps towards her house, i breathed anxiously and when i buzzed her door number, the reply, "no one under that name lives here anymore," i crumbled into a million broken pieces outside the station where her big smile once engulfed me. I miss you, i sobbed. It was real then, like a ghost creeping into your present guiding into your past. I miss the language that belonged to us, the strides we marched as we moved as one, taking the world on, for it was a shoe we had to wear, and we had our tights on.
How do you move on from heartbreak? You start by forgiving yourself for staying angry so long. When you were rock, and World was Metal, and nothing could penetrate.