Top 10 Reasons to break up with your ex
We've all been in those situations with an ex that it's not so much they can't move on,they just refuse to.You become bombarded with Empty promises, illusions of a better future,some even stoop to begging.Yet once your back, you find yourself caught in the same sandstorm. Here are some things to look at, in order to break the cycle.
1)If it's wrong, it certainly aint right. Shades of grey will keep you trapped in a situation that isn't moving forward. Do they say they love you, yet still act weird when others refer to you as their partner.Does it become extremely awkward when people 'SEE' you together in a date scenario, and it's definitely not your first date.
2) Cheating. Cheating isn't about the sex, it's about the act of betrayal. When people cheat on us, it brings up all sorts of insecurities.We feel emotionally violated. Here's an interesting logic. If you invested a million pounds in your bank account, two days later you find the bank has cleaned out your account. You would change banks instantly. Your trust is not a cheap investment, it's worth more than money. When we have faith in people,trust in people, we automatically have regard for them. Where was their regard when they were hurting you.
3)Obsessively lies. The compulsive liar relates back to the issue of trust. You never know where to place your feet with this gem. They'll tell you green is yellow and black is white.
4)Is a bully. Bullies don't just target those outside of you, often times they turn their charm on those around them, and the side effects are damaging to the self esteem.
5)Is Racists or has stubborn prejudiced views: How fun, an idiot to contaminate, or infect you with their negative, grotty beliefs. You'll definitely be a positive influence with this trophy on your arm...not.
6)Refuses to introduce you to friends or family.....and it's been over a year. You're nobody's dirty secret...or would you like to be?
7) Gets threatened everytime you say anything that relates to commitment. This means this person may not be thinking about having a future with you. Futuristic talk threatens them because in case someone better, or more suited comes along,you could be dropped like a sack of rotten potatoes.
8)Is controlling,physically, or emotionally abusive.Being controlled, manipulated or violated is not a stain that easily disappears. It can cause long term damage to self esteem and exaggerate even a seed of doubt.
9)Forgets anything of relevance or that truly matters to you....constantly. Of course people forget things, but they must remember at least something that matters to you.
10)Overly narcissistic and dangerously over competitive. Competition adds that spice to a scenario. Yet if your in a situation where your 'partner' becomes so overcompetitive life with them is all about winning...Watch out it could soon be all about beating you. Overly narcissistic people are so self involved you end up feeling like another chess piece in their quest for self glorification. Over competitive partners may constantly fill your well with this sense of discontent, and dis-satisfaction.
* an extra: They keep breaking up with you a million and one times, and keep grovelling their way back. This must mean they love you right?Wrong.How many times have you broken up with them? For them to keep breaking up with you,their suffering from 'grass is greener syndrome'. Only, the greener grass may not be so accepting of them. The greener grass may not find them as attractive. The greener grass may have more self esteem and know they can do better. Therefore, this person may use you as a checkpoint. It's like in video games where the characters find a save point. No matter how many times they get screwed over in the game, Knocked out, beaten the hell out of, there's always that safety net they can come back to.
*They keep trying to change who you are. If they have such a huge problem with who you are, they shouldn't have started dating you in the first place.
People forget that we go into relationships to connect, be happy, to grow. Yet when you pick the wrong partner, this conflict between head and heart keeps you feeling divided. It's not a relationship. It's you working over time, forcing something that does not work.It's especially tough when our partner is not willing to compromise. We blame ourselves for certain scenarios so we fight harder. Convinced that we have done something awful to that person, and if we try harder we can change it. Simply put, we cannot control peoples thoughts, ideas, social influence, wants and insecurities. People in relationships can have similar beliefs but they are still two completely separate entities, with separate histories.Do you feel good when your with this person, or are you constantly fighting to
keep a smile on your face?