Mental chess the game of a bully: Why some guys are so mean
It's a cruel way for certain guys to validate their ego's and big themselves up. The more insecure a guy is, the nastier at times he will act. Girls often ask the question why are some guys so mean to the girls they like? Deep down in some cases it's an opportunity to side step the pain of rejection.It's a phase of denial.
I believe in healthy expression as i've experienced so much of the opposite from the wrong guys. A guy that has to act mean, that has to act cruel, and vindictive just to proove they have no affinity to you, is kinda pathetic. There are guys who act mean because they struggle to express themselves. Their too proud or too arrogant to say look it hurts me that when i walk into a room you ignore me, it hurts that you don't know my star sign, you don't laugh with me the way you do with other guys.
There's another side to it. I once experienced a guy who sensed i was attracted to him, and acted so appaulingly it was pathetic. I'm a very proud person,very stubborn, very independant. I won't wrap my arms around your ankles, or spend our 'precious time' shadowing you. He would insult me as often as he could, make a point to sit as far away from me as possible, spread poison about me till soon enough it hit home. This guy was a cockroach who wasn't worthy of my attention. He was a jerk and a complete and utter moron. I quickly decided his personality ruined his more than mediocre looks.I decided to ignore him and soon enough like any typical ego maniacal looser, he didn't like it. He began to gravitate around me, and realise as shallow as he could be, so could i. My attentions could be deposited elsewhere. Everytime he walked into the room i would pretend as if i couldn't see him.I'd actually mentally convinced myself that he didn't exist. I could literally feel the anger resonating from him everytime he waltzed into the room and saw my eyes fixed elsewhere. It was hillarious.
Simply put nobody has a right to believe they can treat you cruelly because they have your attention....as fleeting as it can be. It's not on. I've had guys chase me, or guys i've been attracted too, that have either wanted to date me or rejected me. Nobody ever behaved like such a looser. People who behave like this are either cruel spirited, extremely insecure and classless. Despite their amature dramatics, they often crave the attention. If someone is nasty, unless your sending them an email from a distance, or talking to them over the phone. Keep your space, until they growup and acquire some much needed self respect. This isn't just for chics, this applies to guys as well. People like this have serious issues.I once had a friend who literally terrorised every guy that approached her, unless get this....it was someone that would later ridicule or humiliate her. When i asked her why she was like this. She confessed that it was because the guys she liked had always called her ugly, unattractive,or compared her to a primitive animal, despite her being very attractive.Ironically the guy who acted disgracefully had admitted that when he approached women a lot of the times they snobbed him and acted superior. Behaviour is sometimes viral, it's hard not to take it personally, but it's the truth. Sometimes attitudes are recycled, people act out due to their experiences with someone else. They see that person as superior to them, and they want the opportunity to feel superior too.
Don't get me wrong there are genuinely idiots who believe the way to get someones attention is act immaturely, and i try and do forgive and forget as much as the next person. Yet if your a guy or a chic getting juiced up on the whole 'their playing hard to get' concept, despite the possible object of your affections being clearly vile. How comfortable is it to feel that small? Is it delicious when there's witnesses present and you feel so embarassed you could crawl into your own shoes?
Even if everyone else acts like their behaviour is okay, how do you feel....the target?
At the time this idiot was acting like such a moron, my illness was getting worse. My panic attacks were unbearable,my photography business had left me depressed.I was also more vulnerable because i'd recently experienced something traumatic, and lost someone close.Not only would i have to deal with all these things emotionally,i would dread attending where i had to be because one fool had made it their life's quest to sabotage me. For a short while i thought maybe it is ppts (pulling pig tails syndrome)which is when someone likes you but acts like they hate you. I realised it was a mixture of jealousy (i'm a next level creative brainiac)ego and prejudice. No one acts that nastily if they even vaguely like you. Despite my good intentions and my obsessive cleanliness. I'd been called dirty, socially alienated, him and his friend would look for sly ways to ensure i didn't have business cards, he'd make sure any new ideas of mine were frozen out, he would insult me about my skin tone, the country i came from, despite having the same skin tone, originating from the same country. He would compete with me at every level, and would only act genuinely nice when there was no one else present. He was a nasty, vile piece of work. I made a choice to leave that workplace as quickly as possible, because no matter how nice i was, how hard i worked or how creative i was( which was off the scales)he would find a way to sabotage me. He was the archetypal bully. I returned to their location a while ago, to visit the one person that had moved me, inspired me. He didn't just talk out of his neck, he was hard working, focussed, driven. He was a real person.
When i stepped in i remembered how disgustingly i'd been treated. That a woman who was getting over an attack, facing epilepsy, finally having the courage to step out into society, and attempt to connect with people had been treated so despicably. The people in authourity had been too useless, brainwashed, and weak, to discipline someone who had acted like an out and out cockroach. I felt sick, and angry, and hurt, and i left there quickly reminding myself that till the day i died i never wanted to set eyes on those people again. They stood for nothing, especially him.
Badly behaved people are still human beings, at some point their consciences vaguely prick them, and they say to themselves was this right? Did this person deserve such animosity? When the crush haze was removed, i remembered originally i got along with most people on the team quite well, it was only him that seemed angry and cliquish. Then the more i produced ideas for his team, which were creative and very effective. The more this hatred within him grew. And when i would be appreciated or complimented for my ideas and vision, he would lash out. The more nervous i got, the happier he got. The more miserable i became, the more confident he became, and when i was isolated he actually felt like he was worth something. It's funny the people you meet sometimes. Your tryna pull yourself together and the universe plays such emotional games.
I reminded myself that i did have some class and decorum. I reminded myself that i'd learnt something, not so much about rejection, but about human principles. After i left the building that day i recieved an email. Despite ridiculing me,they had gone ahead and used my title for a campaign idea. I imagine the concepts i'd produced had finally secured extra funding for the team , something they had been struggling to get. Someone incompetent,nasty had managed to ride off my ideas and unfairly secured a future for themselves. I asked myself one simple question. Would i have treated them in such a shameful manner? No.Have i ever treated anybody in such a shameful manner? when i was popular or unpopular, would i have been so jealous, so over competitive, such a coward? The answer was no. In time i did contact him and wish him well, because i believe in that.
In order to cancel the poison you have to make peace internally with yourself, and that person's behaviour.Simply put you don't want to loose your faith in humanity. At the core of me i find it imperative to believe that there are people with good hearts out there. People who do believe in what's right, who do respect others,and their feelings. Because life would be so bleak if i didn't.
Whether your a guy or your a woman, and your questioning if someone's being mean because they like you, or simply why is this person mean? There is a whole universe out there. Billions of priceless people with heart that don't need to be nasty or cruel spirited, immature to express themselves to anybody. Sometimes good people are in a poor emotional situation and act out, because that's how their feeling at the time. Just consistently remind yourself you don't deserve it, and you don't respect it. It is not allowed.