How about all those delicious questions that plague us about our crushes? Those up and down left and right signals that we get which could turn into a gym workout. What do the eyes mean? What does that slow smile, and the touching mean? Small of the back, arms, shoulders, pecks on the cheek, or when they hug you and don't want to let go, this includes those private moments you have alone. The endless conversations, and the sheer mystery of it all. I know i have a crush when i start wondering about the person's star sign, or i'm so stiff i can't even wiggle my hips when i walk. Crushes make us feel both powerful and powerless at the same time. Some make us self conscious paranoid even.Some affect our persona we might become exaggerated in our mannerisms or in my case completely shy and terrified.

Yet what do you do if your questions are resolved? If your crush does reject you. Sometimes quite cruelly, or your angry that you were lead along. What if your crush makes it a point to show they don't even think your alive.

Step 1) First phase trying not to take it personally. Some crushes are aware of your googoo eyes and can be quite nasty with their rebuffs. They may justify their behaviour by telling themselves they had to make their feelings clear and apparent. They are not attracted to you in any way, shape, or form and want you to stop reading between the lines. Fine, thankyou for not wasting anymore of my time. I once had a crush on someone who acted appaulingly, i made my own point to consistently remind myself that this performance was a reflection of who they were.Someone else would have acted with more class and more self respect. Despite experiencing the initial shame of feeling rejected. Acting so disgracefully simply because someone has an attraction to you and it makes them an easy target for your attempts at self esteem is not right. These are always the same people that will complain about being cussed out, or insulted when they approach people they like in the street. I wonder why

Step 2)If you were meant to be with this person wouldn't they know it too. Wouldn't they feel it in their gut. Often times we go into a state of denial convincing ourselves that things are standing in the way of the love of a lifetime. The most common argument is that we did something to piss them off, upset them, offend them, that were not aware of. All we need to do is try harder. Be nicer, walk on more egg shells,so that person will feel an afinity to us. Boy have i been in this place. "I think i was too rude, maybe i appeared too aggressive, too much of a know it all." We are who we are and if we were to sacrifice ourselves to please one person, we would resent ourselves for betraying an identity we'd worked hard to protect.

Step 3) There are different ways to cast someone out of our lives. Some people go out partying, go on the pull, get in touch with old boyfriends to re validate themselves. Others write letters of explanation they never send, take alternative routes and sit in locations they are guaranteed to not see their crush. Some change numbers, email addresses, even social network sites, so they can't be pulled back into the illusion of love.

Step 4) Realise actions are a megaphone for words. Some of us find ourselves in situations where as soon as we start to move on, it's almost like our crushes sense it. Their attitudes change, they may suddenly become attentive, warm, charismatic. Simple. It often takes some crushes ages before they officially slam dunk the rejection in the net. Why so long? Human beings crave attention. Certain people can be described as attention seekers or even drama queens and kings, the reality is all of us in our different ways crave attention because we desire love and respect. Why some crushes turn 360 may not necessarily be because they return our affections. It's nice to be admired. Get googoo eyes. Have someone there who wants to hear your thoughts and know your opinions. When that is abruptly snatched away. There is a red alert. Your crush may suddenly be aware of what they ignored all this time. There are other potential partners out there twice as hot with twice the appeal.

Step5) Deal with the disolution of a crush the way you would handle a break up, socialise with new and different types of people. Allow your heart to be open to new experiences. Go out on dates, give that guy a chance who does appear to be a nice guy, and does seem to be interested. Maybe you don't want anything too datish, well you can go shopping, or hang out in the park, rollerblading, swimming, anything that will get your heart pumping and your blood roaring. Sometimes crushes last longer than they should because of a lack of activity, a closeted existence, not opening your world up and letting the delights of the universe in.

Step 6) Write a list of all the adventures you want for this year places you want to go, things you want to do,  things you want to see, projects you could be working on....and get busy. Retrain your focus.

Warning: Many of us decide to wait for our crushes, convinced that the emotional yoyo ride will change. Especially if one minute your getting goo goo eyes, and the next minute your being ignored or even avoided. Take note some people are naturally flirtatious those signs that your convinced stand up in court, may be a case of someone expressing themselves naturally, how they would with anyone. In actuality who really wants the yoyo? Someone that can change their feelings at the flick of a light switch. People like this are awfully painfully endearing, and have an alcoholic effect on our emotions. They are also not very sound.

Remember it sucks right now, but they are not the only person on the planet. There are billions of people out there, and some of them are looking for someone just like you.


Popular posts